Naming the Unspoken

Motherhood is wrapped in a language of joy, sacrifice, and unconditional love. We hear about the sleepless nights, the baby cuddles, the messy kitchens, and the occasional “meltdown.” But there’s another feeling that rarely makes it into polite conversation — one that sits just beneath the surface for many mothers: anger.

Anger is part of the human emotional spectrum, but for mothers it’s often treated as a shameful secret. The unspoken rule is clear: a “good mother” doesn’t get angry. If she does, she swallows it down, hides it behind a smile, or turns it inward into guilt.

Two decades ago, psychotherapist and author Naomi Stadlen put this truth into words in her book What Mothers Do. She captured the complexity of early motherhood with rare honesty, validating the contradiction of loving your child deeply while feeling frustration, resentment, or rage. Now, more than twenty years later, the demands have only intensified — and so has the silence.

Something I’ve noticed over the years in our community—and perhaps you have too—is how often neurodivergent parents seem to find their way to gentle parenting.

Sometimes it starts with a baby who doesn’t respond well to traditional advice. A toddler who melts down in noisy spaces, struggles with transitions, or resists sleep training with every fibre of their being. And so a parent begins searching. For alternatives. For answers. For a different way.

And sometimes, in the process of seeking support for their child, that parent begins to see themselves more clearly too.

Ah, its the most wonderful time of the year. Your family and friends gather to celebrate and this year, you get to introduce the newest addition to your family.

So why does it feel like you are taking an exam or have signed up for the debate team?

Family relationships are complex and even friendship groups can have varied experiences and values. Whether you are first, last or somewhere in the middle of contributing to the newest generation, you are going to find yourself the centre of attention. Which can be overwhelming.

It helps to be prepared, have some strategies and gather your support crew in advance.

Menopause never used to be openly discussed. If mentioned at all it was is hushed voices between women of a certain age.

But currently the voices of peri- and post-menopausal women are being heard and society is being asked to acknowledge the huge changes faced by people with female biology.

Yet, even now, the reason humans experience this transitional period between fertility and old age is not really addressed. Which it should be.

Now, this is not the article I thought I was writing! It turned out to be quite the rabbit hole as I discovered why!

… was the response when I explained the five core practices of our online community.

“Babies need to adapt to the modern world,” they continued. As though evolution is a button you can push to enable an upgrade on a model which has existed for millions of years.

If your experience of pregnancy was an overwhelming journey through nine months of symptoms and discomfort you might need to brace yourself for the following:

Humans aren't pregnant for as long as we should be for infant development.

The one difference between homo sapiens and every other mammal is our intelligence. And human intelligence needs a much larger brain. Compared to other primates and animals, the human brain-to-body ratio is significantly larger. A larger brain needs a larger skull. And a larger skull needs a larger exit. But this is where our evolution ran into a problem.