When Neurodivergent Parents Choose Gentle Parenting

Something I’ve noticed over the years in our community—and perhaps you have too—is how often neurodivergent parents seem to find their way to gentle parenting.

Sometimes it starts with a baby who doesn’t respond well to traditional advice. A toddler who melts down in noisy spaces, struggles with transitions, or resists sleep training with every fibre of their being. And so a parent begins searching. For alternatives. For answers. For a different way.

And sometimes, in the process of seeking support for their child, that parent begins to see themselves more clearly too.

A Pattern We’re Seeing Again and Again

A child is diagnosed with ADHD, autism, sensory processing differences—or simply described as “intense” or “high needs.” And slowly, the pieces start to fall into place for their mother. Behaviours that felt like personal failings—difficulty with noise, emotional overwhelm, needing structure but struggling to maintain it—are suddenly reframed.

What if it wasn’t just your child who was neurodivergent?

What if you were too—and no one ever noticed?

This is a story I’ve heard many times. And each time, it makes sense.

Why Gentle Parenting Feels Like Home

For many neurodivergent parents, gentle parenting isn't just a philosophy—it’s a lifeline. It offers what we may never have received ourselves:

Respect

Regulation

Emotional safety

Permission to be different

Gentle parenting rejects control, punishment, and shame. It invites connection, flexibility, and understanding. It allows space for sensory needs, emotional intensity, and non-linear development. For many of us, it simply feels right—because it honours how we work, as well as how our children do.

The "Double Awakening"

There’s something powerful about the moment a mother realises:

“I’m not broken. I’m just different. And so is my child.”

It’s not uncommon in our community for a child’s diagnosis to lead to a parent’s. Autism. ADHD. PDA. Sensory processing differences. These aren’t new traits—just newly named. And with naming comes understanding, support, and often relief.

Making Space for These Conversations

This isn’t about labelling. It’s about belonging.

It’s about making sense of our instincts to parent gently—especially when those instincts go against mainstream advice

In SNPN, we’ve always welcomed difference. Many of us didn’t fit into the boxes offered to us growing up—and we aren’t interested in putting our children into those boxes now.

So I want to open the door to this conversation:

Are you a neurodivergent parent?

Do you suspect you might be?

Have you found that gentle parenting feels like a natural fit because of your own wiring?

You’re not alone. And your story matters.