Breastfeeding Through Difficulty: What We Can Learn from Mothers Who Keep Going
Breastfeeding is often described as natural, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Many mothers begin their breastfeeding journey with hope and determination, only to find themselves navigating unexpected challenges — from pain and exhaustion to lack of support and conflicting advice.
A recent study published in Women and Birth took a closer look at the experiences of mothers in the UK who continued to breastfeed despite facing significant difficulties. Using a research method known as Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis, the researchers listened deeply to the stories of eight mothers to understand what helped them keep going.
Accepting That It’s Not Always Easy
One of the strongest themes was what the researchers called radical acceptance of the imperfect. These mothers didn’t push forward because it was easy — they continued because it mattered to them. Many spoke of taking things one day at a time and adjusting their expectations to match the reality of parenting and feeding their babies.
Rather than striving for perfection, they found peace in doing their best each day.
Support Makes a Difference
These mothers weren’t doing it alone. A recurring message was the importance of community. Whether it was a partner who held space for their choices, a friend who offered encouragement, or a lactation consultant who truly listened, having someone in their corner made a big difference.
Support wasn’t just about offering practical help — it was about being seen and heard.
Finding Their Own Way
Many of the mothers shared how they had to sift through an overwhelming amount of advice and information to find what worked for them. Sometimes that meant letting go of expectations — theirs or others’. Sometimes it meant challenging what they had been told by health professionals or well-meaning relatives. Their experiences highlighted the importance of trusting your instincts and listening to your baby, even when the world around you doesn’t quite understand.
Inner Strength and Personal Growth
These weren’t stories of martyrdom — they were stories of strength, clarity, and commitment. The researchers noted that traits like determination, optimism, and self-compassion helped mothers persevere.
What’s clear from the study is that these mothers didn’t continue breastfeeding because it was effortless. They continued because they found ways to meet the challenge with grace, grit, and growth.
What This Means for the Rest of Us
This research is a powerful reminder that breastfeeding challenges aren’t just about latch or supply — they are emotional, relational, and deeply personal.
Mothers deserve support that honours all of this. They need to be surrounded by people who believe in their capacity, who offer encouragement without judgment, and who help hold the load when it gets heavy.
The journey of breastfeeding is more than a feeding choice — it’s a relationship. It’s a dance between two people learning and growing together. And sometimes, that dance is hard.
If you’ve faced difficulty in your breastfeeding journey — or are facing it now — know that you are not alone. Your experience is valid. And there is strength in choosing to keep going, even when it’s hard.
